BERYL C JONES

 

 ****  Very good story

"This is a very sweet story of love during the last days of WWII....It is a whole story. No hated cliffhangers. I would recommend to others."

(Barnes &Noble)

 

An unashamed romantic adventure, played out in war torn Europe, where life is harsh and things aren't what they seem. Will Maria get her man? Will either of them survive the death throes of the war? You'll have to read it to find out. A book for a cold, wet day, when the kids and their Dad/ Mum have gone to Grandma's and you've got a big pot of good coffee 

 

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“It’s time,” Andrei said to Maria.
Maria felt a sickening lurch in her stomach. She nodded. “Anna-” she began.
“Anna won’t come and say goodbye,” said Andrei. “She thinks I am sending you to your death. I have more confidence in you. Please don’t prove me wrong or she’ll never speak to me again.”
And so Maria begins her life in the Resistance, billeted with Alex and Nik, whose relationship isn't what it seems. Will she be able to resist Nik's advances and keep the peace with an increasingly hostile Alex? And survive the freezing cold. Not to mention the enemy soldiers, of which there are many. Or friendly fire, which is terrifying? Or the unwanted attention of Anna's cousin, who is creepy, to say the least. 

 

 

A Foreign Land

by Beryl C Jones

Smashwords Edition

Published by Beryl C Jones at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Beryl C Jones

For my Mum,

who never got to read it

A Foreign Land

Chapter 1

The sky was grey and it was raining the night the soldiers came. It was not the robust downpour of summer, but the miserable, intense drizzle of autumn, that went on for days. Not that it mattered, for who would go out now? Now that the streets were guarded, and fear and dread soaked the town.

Throughout the night the soldiers came, gaunt grey men, exhausted and afraid, but still defiant. They travelled over the ancient cobbles in battered, creaking lorries, packed tightly in, knee to knee, clutching their rifles as drowning men might clutch straws. They knew retribution was coming, but they were prepared to make their enemies fight for every inch of ground between here and their homeland.

Maria watched them through the rain splattered windows of her attic rooms. She kept the lights off and stood away from the panes. Now was not a time to be noticed. It will only be for a few days, she told herself. They can't stay here. They must know they can't stay here. They will be caught and killed and us alongside them.

But three days later the soldiers were still there, and still more soldiers came. Maria ran her fingers through her thick, blonde hair, listening to the cracking of the cobbles as the incessant flow of trucks and tanks passed over the antiquated roads. Fear and apprehension were making her feel sick. She had hardly eaten or slept for days and she was tired- very tired, but too agitated to sleep. When would they go, she wondered. Surely they knew they had to go. There was no safety for them here.

She sat down and got up again. What was the point of sitting when she was so afraid to rest? She wished she smoked. A cigarette now might calm her nerves. Maybe a drink. She had some Russian vodka, hadn't she? She shook her head. No, alcohol would make her sleepy and she needed to stay alert. She had heard the stories about these people and their attitude to other nations. She needed to be alert, to be able to escape if she had to.

Oh why, oh why hadn't she gone to stay with friends when she had the chance? Why had she left it too late to get across to the other side of town? Well, she knew why, didn't she? She had been too scared to go by herself, and so now she was here, all on her own. Why was she such a coward?

She wandered across the room, listening intently for any changes in sound that might indicate danger. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and stared at her reflection. She looked awful. Her eyes peered out from dark shadows and her hair hadn't seen a brush for ages. She sighed. Look what just a few days had done to her. She normally took such a pride in her appearance. She knew she was pretty- everyone said so, even the women. But now she thought she'd be lucky to turn anyone's head.

It wasn't that she was vain, whatever some of her friends might suggest when she kept them waiting while she got ready. No, Maria was astute enough to realise the more attractive she was, the more men she could interest, and the better chance she had of making a good marriage. And it had to be a good marriage. Someone with a bit of money, who would look after her. No one else was going to. Maria had no family. Her name had been given to her by the orphanage that raised her.

Maria shuddered. She wouldn't dwell on that. When she had left the place a few years ago, it was like starting life again. She had moved as far away from it as she possibly could, while still being in the same country, but even that didn't seem far enough at the time.

So here she was, with her friends and her flat, and a little job that just about paid for everything, and was reasonably content. But she never felt like she belonged. Her friends had families and lovers, and some of them now had children. Oh, yes, they tried to make her feel one of them, but the truth was, Maria would always be on the outside looking in. And Maria wanted so desperately to belong. To someone. Anyone.

Maria watched the soldiers through the thin, sinuous rivulets of rain that covered the widows. No, friends weren't like family, were they? Families were almost obliged to worry about you, weren't they? But, then, she mused, she would also be forced to worry about her family. Perhaps, in times like these, she was better off being on her own, to only be concerned about herself. The people below had children. She could only imagine the terror they must be feeling as they sought to keep those children safe.

As the day wore on, she noticed people scurrying in the street below. They walked quickly, with their heads down, hoping to pass unnoticed. The soldiers looked on, most of them unconcerned, some with curiosity, but few with any real antipathy. Perhaps, thought Maria, now was the time to be brave and seek out her friends. She really didn't want to spend another day here on her own. She dressed hurriedly, choosing the plainest clothes she could find. Today her golden hair was hidden under a tightly knotted, plain headscarf, and her slim figure wrapped in a shabby, shapeless old coat. Like everyone else, she didn’t want to be noticed.

Outside the air was damp and heavy. It stank of petrol. The noise of marching feet seem to be coming from every direction, while traffic rumbled heedlessly down the narrow streets. The fine drizzle settled on everything, like a thin layer of oil, soaking into Maria’s clothing.

She had barely left her own street when she collided with a soldier. Her heart in her mouth, she muttered an apology and tried to pass him. He caught her arm and dragged her to him, pulling her headscarf from her as he did so. It pulled her hair at the roots, causing an involuntary gasp of pain. The soldier spoke to her in a foreign tongue, harsh and incomprehensible.

He was an unattractive man, his face blotchy from too much beer, and even in the cool autumn rain, he sweated. He tried to kiss her, pawing at her tightly buttoned coat, laughing as she tried to pull away from him.

The smell of alcohol hit her in the face. His grip was hard and she knew he was not going to let her go. She looked around for help, but the only person within hailing distance was another soldier, a young man who had stopped to light a cigarette. A few fellow citizens who passed by, crossed to the other side of the road and pretended they couldn’t see her. Maria felt very alone.

She struggled frantically, terrified of the inevitability of her situation and desperate to escape this terrible humiliation. She began to beat the soldier who held her, but he put her at arm’s length so that even her kicking couldn’t reach him.

The soldier laughed at her futile efforts, until Maria caught him a lucky blow on the nose. Incensed, he began shaking and hitting her. Maria screamed for help. It was pointless, she knew. Then the soldier held his gun to her head and Maria shut her eyes.

“Jurgen!”

Her captor turned round. It was the young soldier who addressed him, talking sharply as he walked over to them, gesticulating furiously. Jurgen replied insolently, a tone that suggested to Maria that he had just told the young man to mind his own business. The young soldier shook his head and spoke again, while Maria prayed silently for help. The angry exchange between Jurgen and the young soldier continued while Maria remained in a vice-like grip. Now the young man had his hand on her other arm, as though he was about to pull her from his colleague.

They were interrupted by a screech of brakes and the rattling of a number of army trucks. This distracted Jurgen from the argument and from her. Contemptuously, he thrust Maria away from him and into the arms of the young soldier, before striding off, cursing them as he did so.

His departure left Maria shaking, but the young soldier now stared in disbelief at something behind her, before he grabbed her by the wrist and began dragging her up the street. She sensed his urgency and tried to look around to see what was causing it, but he was tugging her along too fast.

Doors slammed behind her and there was shouting. Soldiers ran in front of them and began hammering on doors and hauling people from their homes, herding them down the street to the market place. Still the young soldier pulled her forward, not letting her stop, pulling her back to her feet when she stumbled. With a look behind him, he pushed her down a side street, against the flow of people who had been chased out of their houses by the soldiers. The soldiers smirked at her saviour, with what Maria desperately hoped was a misinterpretation of his intentions.

As they went further down the street, the noise from the market place lessened and she became aware of the sound of her own laborious breathing. The side-street had emptied out and the young soldier stopped. They had almost run to this spot and were both panting heavily.

Maria looked at the soldier. He was perhaps twenty, fair haired and grey eyed. He looked frightened as he stood with her, listening for something. She listened with him.

She didn’t recognise the sound of machine gun fire and it was only the sudden screams and awful, awful silence afterwards that told her what had happened. She looked at the soldier, appalled by what she had just heard. The soldier's face was twisted with shame and disbelief. Then he addressed her in her own tongue. “I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.” With that he let her go and ran back to the market place.

Maria did not dare return to her home and spent the rest of a long day hiding. Places that had seemed so familiar and friendly were now dangerous. Dark shadows imbued every doorway with menace and the windows glowered at her like hundreds of staring eyes. She felt she was in a foreign country where everywhere there lurked the threat of violence.

She spent the night huddled in a dark doorway, jumping at every sound, every rattle of the trucks, every shout and bang. She was grateful the weather remained mild. She felt safer here in the street than in her apartment. Here, at least, there were places to hide. In the apartment she could be trapped.

As the night approached sunrise, the town took on a dreadful silence. Even the sound of boots marching over damp cobbles stopped. She got up quietly and listened intently, before peering around the doorway. There was no one about.

She stood for a moment, uncertain what to do. Could she reach her friends? Or would it be safer to go back to her own home? But she didn't want to be in her rooms, waiting for some other terrible thing to happen. She scolded herself. Why had she risked coming out in the first place, if not to be with friends? What was the point of going home again and being alone? Alone and vulnerable.

Her mind was made up. She was going to join her friends and not spend the rest of the day skulking in doorways. She would be brave and risk the consequences.

It took her a while to get her bearings, and by the time she was sure of her route, the town was beginning to wake up. Trucks laden with soldiers rumbled slowly through the streets, forcing Maria to keep hiding. And then she saw them, creeping through the streets like thieves, the townspeople, some alone, some in knots, carrying their belongings in sad little bundles. They had decided that the risk of staying outweighed the risk of leaving.

Maria stared at them. Perhaps I should be doing that, she thought. Then she shook her head. No, she would be no better off running away than staying here. She would still be on her own. If she was going to be like a foreigner in her own country, she wanted to be with friends. She would go to Haris and Lejla first and see what they thought.

By the time she crossed the town, the drip of refugees had become a steady trickle. They stared at her with puzzled looks on their faces. “You are going the wrong way,” one woman told her. “You must leave now, while you can. Go north, find the army who are coming to destroy these vermin.” Maria tried to ignore her advice. I'll go north when I have my friends with me, she thought. The north will still be there tomorrow.

She reached Haris and Lejla's home just before midday. As she turned into the street, she stopped and gasped. All the houses were blackened and charred, and currently being demolished by a tank.

Maria slipped back into the adjoining street, her breath coming in gasps as she tried to deal with the shock. What had happened to her friends?

It was then she saw a notice pasted over a window. It was written in her own language and accused the occupants of the street of collaborating with partisans. All the occupants had been executed and their homes were being demolished as a warning to anyone else who might disobey the occupying army.

Maria's hand flew to her mouth. Haris and Lejla! No! They couldn't be! They just couldn't be. She leaned against a wall, feeling sick and faint with fear and grief. Maybe they had got out before the atrocity occurred. Maybe they were okay. But what was she to do now?

She wandered through the streets, unsure of what to do. Eventually, she found herself near her home. Perhaps she could go back there. Maybe someone would come looking for her.

She stood, watching the flow of people carrying their belongings out of the town. The trickle had become a flood. Maybe I should join them, thought Maria. Maybe I should go home and collect what I can and join them.

She made up her mind to do so, but as she turned into the main thoroughfare that went past her home, she found herself unable to go any further. She could not press through the crowd that was flocking to leave the town.

The soldiers did nothing to stop them leaving. Some seemed to delight in firing over the heads of the mob that struggled through the bottlenecks inherent in such narrow streets. The sound of the gunfire stampeded the crowd into a panic, the memory of the recent murders fresh in their minds. No one stopped to help those who fell.

Maria was forced to join the exodus. She had no money, no food and only the clothes she was wearing. Wagons and a few hand carts, packed with people and their belongings, fled ahead of her, intent on saving themselves. Few of them made it to safety. Packs of deserters, hungry for loot, intercepted them with ruthless efficiency. Caught because of the promise of booty their vehicles signalled, whole families were wiped out. As Maria joined the flight on foot she observed the charred remains of wagons that had passed her only a few days ago. She wept at the indiscriminate carnage and raged with a feeling of utter helplessness. Despair gave way to anger and a steel resolve to survive at all costs.

She spent the days and nights alone, trusting no one, as survival became the be all and end all. It was a selfish existence, where generosity was a luxury no one could afford.

Then winter arrived with a scream, blowing hard frosts and snow into the mud and rain of autumn. Many died in the bitter cold. Maria stole to survive, taking what she could use from the corpses she stumbled across. She stole clothing, she stole jewellery, she stole anything she could exchange for food or shelter. Soldiers passed occasionally, but paid no more attention to these people without food and shelter than they would to the other animals they saw on the land. Sometimes a truck would hit someone who wasn’t quick enough to leave the road. The truck would never stop.

It didn’t take long before Maria felt that it had been this way for years. Death, cold and hunger were a fact of life, and the future only extended to the day ahead of her. She was no longer shocked when she found a body and that worried her. She didn’t want to become detached from the suffering around her, to become like them.

She could only guess how long she lived like this. Was it weeks or months? She didn’t know. Time had become irrelevant, friends and home mere shadows of a memory she tried not to think about. Then one grim, snowbound day, as she struggled just to keep upright in a vicious gale, help came.

She had reached the shelter of woods and the corpse of a young man. She prodded him with her foot, but he was already stiff with frost. She hoped he had matches on him. A fire would be good tonight.

She rummaged through his pockets. A handkerchief, two buttons and a photograph was all that he had. She cursed silently and sat down beside him, total exhaustion suddenly consuming her.

She looked at the photograph in her hand. It was of a woman, a pretty young thing. Maybe she had been the young man’s sweetheart, or perhaps his sister. She looked at the lovely, happy face and wondered for a moment what had become of her. She sighed and looked back at the young man. They had probably made plans.

In her previous life, perhaps she would have grieved for them, but today, as she stared at the corpse, she simply thought, That’s a good coat. Much warmer than mine.

So it was, that when the stranger arrived behind her, she was too engrossed in her efforts to obtain the coat to notice him.

“Is that really necessary?” he said in a quiet voice. “I mean, robbing the dead?”

Maria jumped and then looked behind her. She saw a tall, middle aged man. In his hand he carried a rifle, though he had no uniform. His aura of well being angered her.

“For some of us,” she retorted, “it is a matter of rob the dead or be dead.”

He laughed. This angered her even more. His face fell suddenly.“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend,” he said hurriedly. “It’s just that such a fierce look seemed so out of place on such a pretty face. Ah- sorry, I’m being patronising now, aren’t I?” Maria scowled. He crouched down next to her, his gun resting across his knees. “Perhaps I should start again? My name is Andrei.” He held out his hand to her. “And you are?”

Maria looked at him and then down at his hand, but said nothing. Andrei withdrew his hand with a shrug of his shoulders and continued. “I guess you’re from one of the border towns. They had it pretty bad I hear. I’ve seen a few come through here, but you’re the first one I’ve been able to catch up with. Was it as brutal as we’ve heard?”

Still Maria said nothing. She nodded. Andrei looked at her for a few minutes, pondering. Then he appeared to make up his mind about something. He stood up.“I well understand that you can’t trust me,” he said, “but if you wish it, I have food and shelter and a warm fire, if you come with me.” He put out his hand to her. She scurried away from him, suspecting his motives.

“Ah, a sensible girl,” he said. “Well, I appreciate your caution and I can’t force you to come. But I must warn you that blizzards are on the way and by the look of you, I don’t think you’ll survive them long. Really, I don’t think you have anything to lose now.”

He walked off into the trees. Maria considered his offer only momentarily, before the lure of food and warmth had her hurrying after him, though at a distance.

They left the wood and trudged, for what seemed like hours, over a flat, shelterless landscape, in a biting wind that drove fine, grit-like snow before it. It stung Maria’s face and blinded her eyes, filling her nose and her mouth and numbing her skin. Relief came as they re-entered woodland, where the dense foliage of evergreens surrounded them with their comforting scent. Maria could see no path, but Andrei seemed confident of where he was going. Then the terrain became steeper and rockier and the cold began to creep back into her.

Suddenly -it seemed from out of nowhere- appeared another man. He was younger than her guide and also carried a rifle. “Andrei!” he exclaimed on seeing Maria’s companion. “Back so soon?”

“Yes, Pavel,” replied Andrei, grinning. “The land is devoid of life today. Except for this.” He nodded towards Maria. “And by the look of her, she’s half dead.”

At this point Maria fainted.

Chapter 2

Maria awoke in darkness. She could hear noises, but her muddled brain couldn’t comprehend them. The only thing that she did understand was that she was warm and comfortable for the first time since she had been driven from her home. She concentrated on the warmth of the blankets, as the weariness dripped from her limbs. She could happily have stayed there for the rest of her life. She drifted in and out of sleep, until the sound of voices roused her. In a panic, she sat up and, as her blankets fell away from her, she realised that she was naked. She groped around the bed for something that felt like clothes, but there was nothing but rough ground.

The sudden movement of sitting up had made her head swim, and she suddenly noticed that she was very, very hungry. She lay back down, afraid that she might faint again. The voices faded away and Maria’s attention became fixed on the gnawing in her stomach. She felt she must eat or die. And what was she to do about her clothes? Her thoughts became a confused jumble of worry and pain as she drifted back into a disturbed sleep.

She was gently shaken awake some time later. Andrei was leaning over her, his face illuminated by lamplight. She clutched involuntarily at her blankets, remembering her nakedness. Andrei brushed her hair from her face.

“Ah,” he said. “You’re back with us. You called out. You must have been dreaming. Don’t worry. You’re safe here.” He smiled at her. “You must be hungry. Will you eat?” She nodded. “Good. I’ll get Anna for you.” He rose and made his exit through what seem to be a curtained partition. Momentarily Maria could see the soft light of lamps beyond. Then it was gone and she was left in darkness.

Seconds later, another figure entered, a woman this time. She placed a lamp by the side of the bed. ”Well!” she exclaimed, “I thought you were never going to wake up. You’ve been asleep for two days.”

“Two days!” exclaimed Maria. She looked around her. She appeared to be in some sort of cave. “Where am I?” she asked.

“Safe,” replied Anna, soothingly. “That’s all you need to know for now.”

“My clothes,” said Maria. “Where are my clothes?”

“We burned them,” said Anna. “Don’t look so aghast! They were so full of vermin they could of walked around on their own. I’ll find you something to put on in a minute. But first, I’ll get you some soup. You must eat something. I should imagine you're feeling quite faint at the moment.”

Maria was left with the lamp and her thoughts, lying on her back and staring at the roof, examining the shadows cast by the lamp’s yellow light. She was as apprehensive of these strangers as she was of all strangers nowadays, but at present, at least until she had clothes and, hopefully, some food, she had no choice but to trust them.

Anna came back in with a steaming bowl on a wooden board. It was some kind of vegetable soup and there was a thick slice of bread next to the bowl. It took great self restraint on Maria’s part to pace herself as she ate it. She did not want to appear greedy. Anna settled down next to her.

“Andrei seems to think you’ve had a bit of a torrid time,” she said to Maria. “Tell me about it.”

So between mouthfuls, Maria told her about the day the soldiers came, the massacre in the market place and the flight into the countryside. She told her of her horrific adventures as she struggled to survive, and then her chance meeting with Andrei.

“But what about your family?” Anna asked. “What became of them?”

Maria shook her head. “Orphaned,” she managed to say through the last piece of bread. “Abandoned. I don’t know which. I never knew my parents.”

Anna nodded thoughtfully.“Perhaps that’s not a bad thing in these sad times,” she said to Maria. “Not worrying about someone else. It allows you to focus on your own survival.” Maria paused her chewing.

“I worry every time Andrei or Pavel go out,” Anna continued. “And if they’re late- well, I can imagine all sorts of terrible things happening to them. It’s not easy having people you care about.” Her faced crumpled momentarily, and then she recovered her composure and said, briskly, “I’ll take the tray then. You stay where you are. You still need to rest. I’ll find you some clothes while you’re sleeping.”

She sniffed and gathered up the tray and bowl quickly. She paused at the doorway and turned to speak to Maria. But Maria was already asleep.

It took a couple more days before Maria was strong enough to leave her bed. True to her word, Anna had found her some clothes to wear. They were not a flattering fit by any means, but they were warm and they covered her. Maria had long stopped worrying about her appearance.

Pavel and Andrei had left for a few days and Anna’s anxiety was obvious. She jumped at any unusual noise and spent too much time gazing into the cold landscape, waiting. Maria tried to distract her. She asked her about her family and discovered that Andrei was Anna’s husband and Pavel her brother. They had all slipped into hiding when the border towns fell, trying to steer clear of the soldiers and “doing what we can to help.” Anna declined to elaborate on this and fell into silence or changed the subject when Maria pressed her.

Andrei returned, but on his own. He looked tired and grim as he walked in. Anna cried out loud when she saw him and threw her arms around his neck. When her joy had subsided she said, “Pavel! Where is Pavel?” Andrei looked at his feet and shook his head. Anna’s hand flew to her mouth. “No!” she cried. “It can’t- he can’t...” Her voice trailed off.

“We didn’t get away cleanly enough,” croaked Andrei. “They shot him and killed him. I’m sorry Anna. There was nothing I could do.”

Anna broke into a sob. “No, no!” she cried.

Gently, Andrei took her hand and pulled her to him. She buried her head in her husband’s shoulder and cried. Maria noted the tears already streaming down Andrei’s pale face. She knew this was not the moment to offer sympathy. She was, after all, still the stranger here. She slipped quietly out of the chamber.

The next few days were difficult. Maria couldn’t think of anything to say to Anna and Andrei that didn’t sound trite or stupid. The pair spoke little to her, but had intense, whispered conversations with each other when she was out of ear shot. It was all very uncomfortable, and Maria found herself reflecting on Anna’s comment that it wasn’t easy having people you cared about. As she recalled this comment, she also recalled Anna saying- now what was it? Something like, they were all doing their bit to help. What had she meant by that? Anna had not cared to tell her at the time. Had she said something she shouldn't have to Maria? And what was it Andrei had said? Something like, “We didn’t get away cleanly.” Did he mean what she thought he meant?

She found Andrei sat alone by the fire one evening. Anna had gone to bed. Maria decided to take the opportunity to find out what was going on.

Andrei gave a grunt of acknowledgement as she sat down by him. He was gazing into the fire, his face a blank.

“Andrei,” began Maria, “I know this isn’t really the time, but I need to ask you something.” Andrei looked up at her. His face wore a faintly puzzled look. “It’s about Pavel.” She had his attention now. She took a deep breath. Go for it, she told herself. There won’t be a better time.

“What were you doing when he got killed?” Andrei looked away from her, rubbing his forehead fiercely with his fingers. “It’s just that you said you didn’t get out cleanly,” she pressed on. “I just... just...” Her voice faltered. There was a silence. “What’s going on?” she whispered.

Andrei sighed. “What do you think is going on?” he said at last. “You’re not unintelligent. What do you think?”

Maria thought for a moment. “Some kind of resistance?” she said. Andrei nodded slowly. “And you and Pavel were- were doing something you shouldn’t have been doing-”

“Well that depends on your point of view,” snorted Andrei.

Maria nodded. Another silence. “And I,” began Maria, cautiously, “am I going to be part of this at some stage?”

“At some stage,” said Andrei, “once we were satisfied you are who you say you are.”

“What do you mean!” exclaimed Maria, indignantly. “Who else could I be?”

“A spy. You wouldn’t be the first one.” Maria gazed at him, open mouthed. “It wasn’t just to get rid of the vermin that Anna stripped you, though that was pretty nasty. It was so we could check you for anything that might suggest you were lying to us.”

“Such as?” said Maria, her voice laced with sarcasm.

“Oh, tattoos, bracelets, dog tags, any documents in your pockets.” Andrei smiled at her. “Anna thinks you’re genuine and she’s pretty good at that sort of thing. She spotted the last spy.”

“Spy! What happened?”

“Oh, that one went out on a raid with Pavel and didn’t come back.” A look of pain crossed Andrei’s face at the mention of his brother-in-law. He stared back into the fire.

“So,” began Maria, interrupting his thoughts again, “what are you going to do with me?”

“I suppose- we’re another man down now and that makes things difficult- so I suppose I’m going to have to trust Anna’s judgement. Though, at the end of the day, it’s down to you. Do you want to go through the rest of this war or, if we can’t kick the bastards out, the rest of your life, just surviving? Or do you want to try to make a difference?”

Maria was silent while she thought about this. “I know what I ought to say,” she said slowly. “But, if I’m honest with myself, I don’t think I’ve got the guts for it.”

“Guts!” exclaimed Andrei. “Look what you’ve been through already! How much steel has that given you? And really, what’s your option? Going back to robbing corpses?”

“Yes, but I rather suspect that once you join this thing, you can’t just quit because it doesn’t suit.” Maria paused. “I just don’t want to let anyone down. Or get anyone killed.”

Andrei nodded. “Well, sleep on it,” he suggested. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

Chapter 3

“It’s time,” Andrei said to Maria.

Maria felt a sickening lurch in her stomach. She nodded. “Anna-” she began.

“Anna won’t come and say goodbye,” said Andrei. “She thinks I am sending you to your death. I have more confidence in you. Please don’t prove me wrong or she’ll never speak to me again.”

They climbed up the rickety wooden ladder that led to the concealed entrance of their hideaway, and then Andrei led her through the woods for about five minutes. He stopped and said, “Please put this on.” He handed her a strip of material. She looked at it, puzzled. “To cover your eyes,” he explained.

“Must I?” she said.

He nodded gravely. “I’m sure Anna is right about you, but I can’t take the risk. There are too many lives at stake. Trust me.”

Blindfolded, she allowed him to lead her through the woods. She stumbled throughout, and it was only Andrei’s firm arm that kept her from falling. It probably wasn’t a long journey, but it felt like hours had passed by the time the blindfold was removed.

She found herself at the concealed entrance of another set of tunnels. At least she assumed it was another set of tunnels, though there was nothing to distinguish them from the one she had just left. Two strangers were waiting for them outside.

“Maria,” said Andrei, gently pushing her forward, “this is Nik and Alex.”

She nodded shyly at the man and the woman before her. They both nodded an acknowledgement, staring at her as if she was some strange creature. Alex, she thought, was almost sneering at her.

“I have told Alex and Nik all about you. I want you to go with them on a little errand tonight. Er, nothing too dangerous,” he assured her, seeing the alarm on her face. “But it will be enough to test your resolve and let you know if you’ve made the right decision. Pavel used to help them out. They have tried to get by without him, but...” He sighed.

“Humph!” snorted Alex. “We get by fine. We don’t need some silly idiot running around screaming!” She stood close to Nik and spoke to him in a low voice, which was just loud enough for Maria to hear. “I say send her back. We’ve got by with just us two up to now. Why bring in this- this- creature? She’ll only get herself and both of us killed.”

“Hush, Alex,” said Nik. He was staring at Maria throughout this dialogue, a faint smile on his lips. “I’m sure our new comrade will fit in very nicely.” He flashed Maria a broad smile. Maria blushed and wished she hadn't.

Alex glared at Nik, her face beetroot with suppressed rage. She stepped deliberately between him and Maria. “Ever used a gun?” she asked Maria.

“What?” replied Maria, completely taken aback by the question.

“Can you shoot?” said Alex, a half smile on her lips which suggested she expected the answer to be no. “Or were you planning on getting rid of these vermin by fluttering your eyelashes at them?” Maria shook her head slowly. Alex snorted derisively. “Well,” she continued, “you’re going to have to learn then, and learn quickly.”

She thrust her gun into Maria’s hands. Maria fumbled and almost dropped it in terror. Alex smirked, her eyes mocking Maria’s lack of courage. Hot indignation reddened Maria’s face and she felt herself shaking with anger.

Nik intervened. “You needn’t embarrass the girl,” he said to Alex, taking the gun off Maria. “You weren’t born shooting.”

He took Maria to one side and began to go through the workings of the gun with her. She was hardly listening. She looked up and saw Alex glaring at her, the girl's lips set in a sulky pout. Andrei noticed the look and began laughing to himself. He turned Alex by the shoulder and took her away towards the tunnel entrance.

“Right, now you try it.”

“What?” said Maria, her attention now back on Nik. “What?”

“Break it, load it, cock it. Like I just showed you.”

“I’m sorry,” stammered Maria. “I wasn’t listening.”

Nik tutted. “Pay attention Maria, for goodness sake. This could save your life.”

He frowned at her, his brows knitted with impatience. He was younger than Andrei, perhaps nearer her own age, and she guessed there was a handsome man under that dark beard and grimy complexion. He handed her the gun. “I’ll talk you through it. Again,” he sighed.

He instructed her again and again until he was satisfied she had learned the lesson. All the time fear nagged at Maria. She hoped she wasn’t going to have to use this rifle. She chided herself mentally for her naivety. Alex was right to be scornful. How else did she think she was going to make a difference?

Nik led her to join Andrei and Alex. “Well?” asked Andrei.

Nik shrugged. “Alex is right. We’d be crazy if we take her. She’ll probably get us all killed.”

“Who else do you propose?” asked Andrei.

Nik shrugged again.

“She’s got to learn sometime,” continued Andrei. “And as you say, no one is born knowing how to shoot.”

“Yes, you’re right. We have no choice. It’s just- I’m going to feel so responsible if anything happens. It will be like taking a child into battle.”

His words froze Maria. They were taking her into battle? That was Andrei’s idea of “nothing too dangerous” ? She was bursting to ask questions, but, afraid she might not be able to cope with the answers, she remained silent.

Nik stood staring at her, pulling his bottom lip thoughtfully. “The light will be going soon,” said Andrei. “You must go now if you’re going at all.”

Nik nodded resignedly. He handed the gun back to Maria and reached into his pocket. “Right,” he said, as he handed her some bullets, “load it.”

She felt everyone’s eyes on her. She fumbled and dropped the bullets. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the look of amusement on Alex’s face, and she flushed hot with anger. Patiently, Nik picked up the bullets and handed them back to Maria.

“Concentrate,” he said. She focused her thoughts, loaded the gun and prepared it for firing.

“Good,” said Nik, relief apparent in his voice. “But I don’t think we want to fire it just yet.” He breached the gun for her and hung it over her arm. Putting his hand on her shoulder, he turned her towards the woods. “Bring my gun will you, Alex,” he called, as he led Maria down the hill. She felt Alex’s stare like daggers in her back.

Dusk was approaching when Nik signalled for them to stop. “We’re very near now,” he said.

“Near what?” asked Maria.

Their long journey had been made in a silence broken only by the whisperings of Nik and Alex. She began to resent their intimacy and their apparent disregard of her. And they still hadn’t told her where they were going and what they were going to do when they got there.

“We’re making a raid on the enemy’s base,” grinned Nik, “and you’re going to be look out.”

“Oh,” said Maria. She really couldn’t think of anything else to say. She felt sick.

“It’s too late to go back now,” said Alex sarcastically, evidently reading the look on Maria's face.

“Enough, Alex,” said Nik. “Not everyone has the advantage of your hatred.” He turned to Maria. “We will place you under cover to watch, while Alex and I go into the camp. I’m sure you’ll be quite safe.” Maria just nodded. She didn’t trust her voice. “Now, ready your guns,” said Nik to both of them, “and proceed with caution.” He stood looking at Maria as she passed him, an expression of amusement on his face. He glanced at Alex to make sure she was out of ear shot. “You've still got your gun breached,” he whispered. Maria glanced down. The rifle was still broken over her arm. How stupid am I? Maria thought to herself.

She fumbled with the gun and almost dropped it. Nik's hand shot out and relieved her of it. “There you go,” he said quietly, as he handed the readied gun back to her. Embarrassed, Maria glanced up at him, but there was nothing in Nik's face to suggest he thought Maria was as big an idiot as Maria thought she was.

They crept through the wood in silence. Maria could hear nothing but the terrified pounding of her heart. Everyone, she thought, must be able to hear it.

Nik signalled for them to stop. He crouched down low and began to crawl through the shrubs. Maria followed behind Alex. It was now dark, and Maria was afraid of losing her companions in the murky undergrowth. She was also conscious of the noise she was making as she hurried after Alex. Suddenly she came up against Alex’s rump. “Sorry!” she whispered.

She couldn’t see Alex’s face, but she felt her glare. Alex disappeared into the darkness and Maria was left facing Nik. “You come with me,” he said, “and be very, very quiet.”

She followed him obediently. She tried very hard to be quiet, but still felt that she sounded like an elephant charging through the wood. Shortly, they found themselves facing on to a clearing. It was a camp site full of soldiers, blazing with lights and rumbling with the sound of heavy vehicles.

“Cocky bastards, aren’t they?” commented Nik. “This is where you’ll wait,” he said to Maria. "When we’ve finished, there’ll be a lot of angry goons about. We’ll be making our escape this way. You're here to provide cover if it gets a bit sticky. Do you understand?”

Maria nodded, the panic rising in her in a sickening tide. She knew she was out of her depth, but she would not admit that to Nik, and especially not to Alex. She remembered Alex’s mocking look and sarcastic tone, and tried to keep her fear under control. Nik turned to slip into the undergrowth. He looked back over his shoulder at her. “If it’s any consolation,” he said, “I’m scared too.” His slim figure disappeared and she was left alone.

As she concentrated on the camp site for what seemed like hours, the bright light of the lamps began to hurt her eyes. They ached. It had been a very long day, thought Maria. It wouldn’t hurt to close her eyes for just a little while, would it? Just long enough for the aching to subside. She would hear if anything happened. But Maria was more tired than she thought.

She was awoken by a loud bang. The air was acrid with smoke. Men were running about and shouting. Maria grasped her gun and sank lower to the ground, startled by the tumult. She searched frantically for Nik or Alex amid the rushing bodies, but the contrasts of light and shadow confused her. There was another explosion and all the lights went out. Now Maria could see nothing but the flashing, purple silhouettes of their after image. She heard shouting and gun shots. Maria jumped and stiffened, straining her every sense for some clue as to what was happening.

There was a crashing of undergrowth and suddenly Nik was there. She nearly cried out in relief. He was panting heavily, heaving great lungfuls of air into his chest. When he was at last able to control his breathing he said, “Where’s Alex?”

“I don’t know,” replied Maria, aware of how weak and pathetic her voice sounded. Nik nodded. “She must be coming around the other way. Give her a few moments.”

They waited anxiously while watching the soldiers trying to put out the fires caused by the explosions. There were more gun shots, this time from machine guns. Maria started. Nik noticed her alarm. “Don’t worry,” he whispered, “they’re probably shooting at shadows.”

They waited a further five minutes before Nik insisted they had to go. “What about Alex?” protested Maria.

Nik shook his head. “As soon as they have that fire under control, they’ll be looking for us. In fact, if I was their commander, I’d be looking for us five minutes ago. We must go now or we’ll all be caught.”

He pushed her away from the camp and crawled into the wood. “Don’t worry,” he continued, “she’ll be alright. We have plans for such an occasion. There’s another, safer, meeting place.”

He pulled her to her feet once they were well away from the camp. The night was now very black and she could barely see in front of her, but still Nik insisted that they run. She stumbled. He yanked her back onto to her feet, but said nothing to her, not even to reproach her when her clumsiness slowed them down. Without even seeing his face, she knew he was worried.

They ran and stumbled through the wood until they came to a clearing. Here, at last, Nik let her rest. They both sank to their knees, their breath coming in laboured gasps, filling the crisp air in front of them with white, smoky vapour. Maria followed Nik in sitting down with her back against a tree. Her exertions now over, sweat cooled, sticky and clammy down her spine. She began to shiver. Nik noticed.“You’re getting cold,” he said in a concerned voice.

He sat next to her, put his arm around her and pulled her towards him. She stiffened involuntarily, but he didn’t seem to notice. He held her tightly and she felt comforted by his nearness. At length her shivering subsided and exhaustion took over, dragging her reluctantly into a light and restless sleep.

She awoke what seemed only minutes later, but must have been hours, stiff and cold. Dawn had arrived quietly in the night. Nik, pale and dishevelled, helped her quickly to her feet. Then she heard properly the noise that had woken her.

Dogs.

Nik grabbed her hand and pulled her quickly back into the shelter of the woods.“Water!” he yelled over his shoulder. “We must get to water!”

Maria struggled to keep up with him. Every muscle, every sinew, felt stiff and raw. Her legs felt like lead and her head throbbed with pain, but she propelled herself on. She knew what those dogs meant. Their handlers would follow Nik and herself relentlessly, and every faltering step they took would be wasted unless they could find water and drown their scents.

The cold morning air rasped through her throat, plunging like a knife into her chest. She felt that her lungs would explode. Her nose began to run and she hoped- irrationally, she knew- that Nik wouldn’t notice her sniffing. Branches and twigs hit them in the face and she felt the sticky, ferrous taste of blood. Brambles and hawthorns snatched at them, ripping their hands and snagging their clothes. Then, just as she thought she could run no more, she heard the sound of water.

They plunged into the wide stream and ran down its bed. The branches and creepers overhead snared their hair and clawed at their faces. Water seeped through their boots, numbing their feet. Maria could feel nothing from her knees downwards and began to stumble. The stream became deeper and wider, and she became colder and colder, slipping and stumbling in the freezing water.

Eventually Nik pulled her over to the bank and she lay shivering and panting, taking in greedy gulps of freezing air. Nik looked at her and shook his head. “We can’t stay here,” he said. “We must get somewhere dry and-” he laughed mirthlessly- “warm."

He hauled her to her feet and she hated him for it. Every step was agony. Her legs shook and the blood pounded in her ears. The cold began to eat through her clothes and into her flesh. The muscles in her back contracted, stiff with the insidious cold that invaded them. Everywhere ached.

It took half the day for them to reach safety. Their hideout was empty and, though he said nothing, Maria could see Nik was worried that Alex was not there waiting for them. She found herself wondering what the relationship between the two was. After all, they had been out here on their own for some time, surely long enough for-

Nik's voice interrupted her train of thoughts. "Here!" he said, throwing Maria a blanket. "No!" he said, impatiently. "Take them off! You must take that wet stuff off!" With that, he began stripping off in front of her. She tried not to look towards him and concentrated on undressing as demurely as possible under her blanket, but her eyes were drawn towards Nik's muscular torso and long, powerful limbs. She noticed, with a shock, how many scars he bore, some evidently recent.

If he felt her stare, he didn't show it, but carried on undressing. He laid his wet clothes on the floor of the chamber and, wrapping himself in his blanket, climbed awkwardly up the ladder, and went outside. 

To find out what happens next, download the full book from the links above.